A Queen's Remorse
by Narniaqueen1300
Summary: Susan and Edmund arrive home from Tashbaan during the events of the horse and his boy. But can the gentle queen, with the help of her brothers, forgive herself for being taken in so by Rabadash?


It was nearly dawn by the time the ship reached Cair Paravel's shore. It had never before felt to Susan so relieving to be upon Narnian soil than it did at this instant. As the Gentle Queen stepped out, she trembled a little from seasickness before King Edmund offered his hand to her in assistance.

"Come, my sister, and let us proceed inside where you may rest, for it has been a long, treacherous night for everyone."

Susan accepted his invitation graciously, and supported her delicate frame against him as the two proceeded in the direction of the castle. Upon reaching the entrance, Queen Susan gave a sigh of relief. "We're home," She whispered. Edmund ordered the gate open at once, and ushered his sister in as quickly as he could. He had no doubt in his mind that it was quite possible they could have been followed. His main concern was to get his sister to safety above all else, and then contact the High King as soon as time would allow.

The two monarchs, along with the party of Narnians they had traveled with, entered the Cair. King Edmund quickly scanned the area to see if anything was out of order. Everything appeared to be just how they had left it, to his thankfulness.

"Pray, where is the Queen Lucy?" He asked a faun, who was carrying a tray of food to the dining hall.

"The last I heard of her she was visiting some friends in the Western Woods. She left this morning," He replied, giving a small bow.

The slight furrow of his brow revealed Edmund's dismay at this news. At a time such as this, it was unwise for any of them to leave the Cair unguarded. There was no telling what Rabadash might think to do in his present state of anger. "Did she happen to give note of the time she would be returning?"

"Not to my knowledge, my king. I regret that I cannot be of more service in this matter."

"Worry not of that, my friend. However, it is vital that she is found and brought back at once. Have Orious send a search party for her, and keep me informed as to the progress of it."

"Yes, your majesty."

The faun turned to go, but Edmund stopped him once more. "Has my royal brother, returned yet from the north?"

"He has, your majesty. This morning he returned with almost all of the party he set out with . It was a victory. I believe he retired to his chambers to rest shortly upon his arrival."

"Thank you," Edmund said, and turned at once to go find Peter and inform him of all that had happened, and the possible danger that Narnia and Archenland could be in for if not prevented.

While Edmund sought out his brother in the matter, Queen Susan decided to go out to the courtyard. Resting her chin in her hands, she gazed out at the vast blue sea that the court overlooked. The mere sight of it made her feel ill. She could still feel herself swaying back and forth from the crashing waves that had rocked the ship all night. Her head throbbed.

She pondered all that had occurred in just the week since arriving at Tashbaan. She had set out on the journey there with plans of marriage to Rabadash. After all, he had seemed the perfect gentleman, and it was clear that he loved her. At least, for the time he courted her in Narnia. He took great pains to appear kind and gentle whenever he had seen her ta Cair Paravel. It was only in Tashbaan that Susan had seen his true nature, as a brutal, wild man. He beat his servants, and treated anyone under him worse than animals.

How could she have been so deceived? To think he was actually a gentleman, and that she had come so close to marrying him was almost inconceivable now. Susan often thought to herself that out of all her siblings, she was the most gullible and weak. What had she been thinking? Peter had warned her that there was something amiss about this man, and even Lucy had. Edmund must have noticed also, but he didn't say anything because he didn't want to hurt her. Now she wished she had listened to all of them. How would she ever be able to make up for what she did if Narnia indeed had to go to war with Tashbaan? To think that lives could be lost because of her own selfishness made her shudder.

At that moment, Susan heard soft footsteps approaching behind her. She instinctively turned around to see who it was, and there before her stood Edmund. He appeared to be in deep thought, and looked worn out from the journey. Dark circles were under his eyes, making his fatigue evident to Susan. He approached her quietly, and soon took a seat on the marble bench beside her.

"How fares thee, my sister?" He asked, turning his gaze from the sea to her.

Susan could not look at him as shame burned in her face.

"Art though still unwell from the voyage? For if it would be of any assistance to my lady, I would have a healer sent for at once," The king continued, his face full of genuine concern for the former.

"Your kindness is appreciated, my fair brother. However it is not a matter of illness that plagues me, but rather a condition of the heart," She spoke quietly, her gaze unmoving.

The raven haired king took his sister's hand at once, and gave her his full attention. "Would it be an intrusion for me to beseech thee on what matter troubles thy soul in a way as to cause such discomfort on my queen's heart? For until such a matter is resolved, I am certain that thou cannot be at peace."

After a long moment, Queen Susan faced him. Light tears burned in her eyes. "My brother, though it shames me greatly to admit such a confession, the matter in which my concern lies is that of Rabadash."

For a moment, the kings face turned red at the mentioned name, but he soon composed himself and spoke.

"Rabadash is one, whom of all the people that dwell from here to the Eastern Sea and the Lone Islands, that I would wish the least for your ladyship to be concerned over. He has made his decision. His greedy heart is bent towards evil and malice."

The queen paled at this exclamation. "My brother, you speak the truth. Such a man cannot be reasoned with, for any occasion, in particular that of the present. However I must confess that it because of the truth in your words that my heart grieves. For such the man, as he reveals himself as now, is not how I perceived him in originality. I was utterly deceived by his smooth tongue, and esteemed mannerisms towards me. Like a foolish child I was taken in, defying all logic and reason from my royal brother, the High King, and my sister, whom both warned me of such evil from the beginning,"

The young king listened to her every word intently, not moving his gaze from her. He said nothing to either excuse her actions, nor blame her.

She continued in a feeble voice, "And now, because of my great foolishness, our beloved country is on the brink of war," She choked on her words. "Our king does not deserve that, especially since he has just now returned from battle with the giants in the north. And to think this is all on my account."

She could continue no more and stood abruptly, walking over to the balcony railing before her. She attempted to brush away her tears, feeling foolish for having them. Edmund soon joined her by her side.

"My beloved sister, it grieves my heart to see thee in such a state, and if there were any way for me to take from you the discomfort you are now in and put it upon myself instead, have no doubt that I would hastily do so without a second thought. However in a time such as this, my counsel to thee would be to try and erase this man, this beast, from your memory as well you are able to do so. Have no fear that he shall be properly dealt with by the high king and myself, and that if the likes of him were to enter into Narnia, he would not get far. For even as we speak, our army has begun to line our country's border in every place that could be a possible entrance hither. Nay my queen, you shall not see him again. Worry not of that,"

Susan couldn't help a small sigh of relief at the assuring words of her brother. However, there was still one matter that concerned her.

"But what am I to say to the high king about this? For if I know my royal brother well, he will no doubt be angry about my being taken in so by someone he so aptly warned me about. I simply could not bare to cause him any more worry or pain than he has already endured. Oh, how I wish I could apologize for my inexcusable actions! Perhaps if I begged his forgiveness he mightn't be angry with me,"

"Or perhaps he would not be angry with you to begin with, for he cares for his sister deeply and knows that none of this was her fault, and that we were all deceived," A quite different voice spoke from behind where the younger king and queen stood. Susan quickly turned around to see the tall, golden haired king standing before them. He stepped forward, and took her hands in his gently. "Madam, I beseech thee to heed the wise counsel of my royal brother and think no more of this barbarian. For his actions have proved that he deserves no place in our kingdom, be it in our land nor our minds."

A small tear slid down Susan's cheek at his words. "I will try my hardest to abide by these words, Sir. For there is great wisdom in them to be sure. But how may I ever beg thy forgiveness for the great folly I have caused upon our kingdom?"

"Where there hast been no grievance, no forgiveness is needed to bestow," The High King said, resting his hand upon her shoulder. "However if it would put my lady's mind at ease, know that henceforth no account of what is past shall be brought up again in this land, regarding this misfortune that has occurred. Know also, that the name of Rabadash will be no longer spoken in this Cair, or the land surrounding it thereof. But come, my brother and queen, and let us make haste inside, for yonder I see the queen Lucy riding thither out of the forest to join us."

With that, he offered his arm to queen Susan, and taking it, she allowed herself to be rid of the thoughts which had plagued her for many days. For whatever became of Narnia, she knew that what was past would not be held against her. As the three monarchs entered the palace, the eldest queen could not help but smile to herself that she was fortunate enough to rule beside such noble and devout brothers.


End file.
